New At YDN

Season's greetings, Christians. Grow up:

In time for the holiday season, FNC's resident witch-smeller [John Gibson] has gulled a formerly respectable publishing house, the Penguin Group, into releasing "The War on Christmas: How the Liberal Plot to Ban the Sacred Christian Holiday Is Worse Than You Thought." I confess that I have not read Mr. Gibson's foray into investigative reporting, except that I have read it, and continue to read it annually, as an unwilling member of the audience to the nation's loudest wintertime celebration, the Festival of Christian Paranoia and Self-Pity.

UPDATE: More Christian paranoia here. I saw this when it first aired. The best part is the very end: "Upon further review, Margaret has decided to accept the money." (Hat tip: Andrew Sullivan)

UPDATE: Archie Bunker fathers child with the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association. Tribunus plebis, Bill O'Reilly, loses his shit. It was news to me that the internet is funded by George Soros. The enemies of American values are everywhere:

I'm talkin' about blatant propaganda, spit out there on a daily basis by hateful liars, picked up by the mainstream media, and rammed down the public's throat [sic]. That's what I'm talkin' about. And you know who I'm talkin' about, too. You know the newspapers that do it, you know the radio people that do it, you know the tv people that do it. And you should be as angry about it as I am. It's dishonest, it hurts the country, and I'm gonna bring those people down. Mark my words, I'm gonna take 'em down, because nobody else will...We're going to go after those people, where they live. If mainstream media continues [sic] to run out this slander [sic] and run out this defamation [sic], I'm going to name the name, put their [sic] face on television, and tell you about it on the radio, so you walk away from them, so they fail in the marketplace. Enough's enough. We got people with lives on the line. We got people wanting to kill us where we live. And we got to put up with this kind of crap on the internet funded by George Soros. Not gonna happen! No spin zone! I'll be right back.

You see, the hateful lies about the administration's case for war and the hateful lies about Mr. O'Reilly himself are the self-same lies. And George Soros is the invisible puppet-master behind it all. Beware the Zionist Occupied Government. I feel sic.