The Straight Sign

Interesting article by Tom Zoellner on the various rituals straight men use to put themselves at ease when first meeting each other. The most typical method is to comment favorably on the looks of nearby women or else, in a partial non-sequitur, bring up one's wife or girlfriend. Every straight man knows the phenomenon fairly well, and it's amazing how ubiquitous it is, even among us enlightened, progressive heteros with gay friends and colleagues. After describing how the Straight Sign works, Zoellner writes:

This brings us to the really curious thing about the Straight Sign. It is more readily thrown at a guy who gives every appearance of actually being straight.

When we wind up in conversation with a man who is doubtlessly gay; who is making a calculated risk by trying to flirt with us; whose eyes are gently alight with the unmistakable mist of furtiveness and desire that we probably emit when we try to chat up attractive women; when there is not a shred of ambiguity in the air as to the orientation of the guy you're talking to; then the Straight Sign can be postponed for a decent interval. Why ruin a good conversation? Why act like some paranoid bumpkin who can't deal with gay people? We Blue State urban males are more enlightened than that, more accepting, aren't we? We're hip. We have plenty of gay friends.

But here's the thing we really don't like to talk about. Deep within the reptilian cortex of even the most Eberhard-Faber straight man on the planet -- who among us does not get a small ego-boost from being the quarry? Somebody found us attractive. It might be somebody who hasn't a chance in hell of getting into our pants, but we're a little flattered by the attention. This is the other way the Straight Sign brings us a little closer to women. They know this strange cocktail better than we do: sexual disinterest shaken with a splash of demure appreciation.

He's right, of course, in every particular [well, disinterest is the wrong word, but otherwise, sure--ed.]. The Straight Sign is flashed mostly subconsciously. I realize I've done it more times than I should have on this blog, while I'd almost never do it in a print publication. I guess that has something to do with the conversational nature of blogging. Heh.