Hell Of My Own Making

On line at Rainbow Cafe over the weekend (a restaurant, not a gay club, the name notwithstanding), I noticed a very jappy-looking and jappy-sounding freshman behind me. And I thought to myself, "This girl is incredibly hot. Not just hot, that's crude. She's stunningly beautiful [which is just as objectifying--ed.] I have to get to know her."

That, dear friends, is my dilemma in a nutshell. It's the only way I can comprehend the reason I've brought so much pain on myself, and the sobering reality of how much pain still awaits me. I would give a lot to see the world through different lenses for a little while. Till then, it's moth to flame.