Fisking Myself

I was looking through old e-mails I've written when I came across the following gem. I just want to make it clear, finally (the statute of limitations ran out on this shit, right?), that I meant not a word of it. Specifically, when I wrote, "I think you're all remarkably talented and I wish you the best," what I actually intended to communicate was, "I think you're all remarkably less talented than the backside of a syphillitc ostrich and I wish you the best medical care available in Swaziland when (with any luck) you all come down with necrotizing fasciitis." So, anyway, feast your eyes:

Dear Classmates:

It's been brought to my attention that my behavior in class today might have offended some people. If this is the case, then I would sincerely like to apologize for the way I acted. There is no excuse for insulting anyone, and I'm entirely at fault for having done so. I do want to say thought, that I did not intend to hurt anyone's feelings, and that whatever vocal or bodily gestures I made were a reflection of my own personal frustrations with the New Testament. I found your interpretations of it to be entirely accurate, and I would be more than happy to discuss with anyone why it seems to me implied in the doctrines of the Gospels and particularly the letters of St. Paul that this faith is life-denying rather than life-affirming; I have no inherent bias against Christianity any more than against any other monotheistic religion, certainly including the 'faith' that I was brought up in. The especially troublesome aspects of Christian faith to me are tied into its concurrent strands in Platonism, in which, again, I feel that it denies life and humanity. I'm truly very sorry if I gave the impression that I have some visceral dislike of Christianity or Christians or anyone in class; I think you're all remarkably talented and I wish you the best. When we begin Dante next week, I'll be sure to be my usually engaged and energetic self.

Cheers then,
Dan

No point pretending I'm not a terrible person, but whatever. Double-points to anybody who can piece together what brought all this about.