Why Condi Doesn't Heart Iran

Iranian lawmaker Shokrollah Attarzadeh gets to the bottom of things:

The reason that the US secretary of state attacks Iran is because she had her heart broken by a young man from Qazvin while they were students.

As unfortunate for global peace and stability as it would be if that theory were true, it would resolve a certain other mystery. Condi, as everyone knows, is both a powerful woman and has no publicly known record of romantic attachments to men. Either one of those facts is (obviously) sufficient proof that she's a lesbian, but both of them together; I mean, read between the goddamn lines. Well, until now. Take it from an obscure Iranian official who has no proof: Condi may not be the Republicans' favorite color, but at least she's not gay. Rice '08! (Link via take a f'n guess).