Most Disgusting AIM Away Message Ever

I won't reveal any identities. But this is preposterous:

H A M P T O N S 8-)

..with all the other rich kids

In case you're wondering, I'm attempting to transliterate the emoticons. I can't do anything to convey the color scheme, so you'll have to just trust me that it's obnoxious.

I'm going to try to come up with a joke about cocaine and bulimia sometime tonight.

UPDATE: Okay, here goes.

My sympathy is with all those poor Mexican mules who allow coke-stuffed condoms to be shoved up their asses, just to have their product eventually vomited up along with the barely digested remains of a half-eaten $25 salad. It's also with the masses of undernourished people whom that salad could have fed, if it had not wound up at the bottom of a marble toilet bowl after some bratty spoiled cunt deliberately aborted its journey through her margarita-sodden digestive tract.

ANOTHER UPDATE: The remaining mysteries are 1) what anybody could possibly be doing in the Hamptons during the first week of classes and 2) the amount, in millions of dollars of donations, that it took to get such an undeserving bitch admitted to this school.