Note To All Casual Payne-Whitney Goers

I realize it's not within my power to prevent you from getting into the gym and wrecking my workouts. I can't throw you off of equipment you're misusing. I can't and won't correct your ad hoc, counter-productive battery of poorly performed exercises that you think constitutes a workout. I'm not going to point and laugh when you max out with no weight on the bar.

However, I'm sick and tired of you assholes taking up a whole storage cubby with your fucking keys and ID. They don't deserve it and you don't deserve it. You're not special, and no one loves you except you. If I can't get a cubby in the future, your stuff is going on the ground.